Vic & Gwen's Journey

Imagine that a grand exhibit has come to the prestigious art museum in your city. A world famous artist's work is on display. It will be a once in a life time opportunity for you to see this amazing work of art, so you join the long queue that is lined up to visit the exhibit. There are a great many people from all over who have come to take advantage of this special opportunity and the line snakes out of the museum and through the surrounding park. Hour after hour you wait patiently as the line inches it's way through the park and into the museum itself. Finally you make it into the area of the special exhibit – past the security check points, and the lockers in which you must leave your camera and cell phone – and it is your turn to spend a few minutes examining and appreciating the masterpieces on display. As you approach you first notice the amazing intensity of the colors and the exquisite integration of subtle patterns to create an amazingly three dimensional perspective. All around you people are standing and examining the paintings from different perspectives, murmuring softly to each other in appreciation of the skill that was required to create the work on display.

Suddenly your eye is caught by something that you hadn't noticed before. You look a little closer, it cannot be, but it is... that is most definitely you depicted on the canvas of one of the most amazing masterpieces on display. You look around, to see if anyone else has noticed, but everyone else seems preoccupied with other aspects of the artwork on display. You look back again just to make sure you saw things correctly, and yes, that is most definitely your face smiling back at you from the masterpiece in front of you. You don't understand how or why, but for some reason the maestro has included you in one of his greatest works.

How would that make you feel as you stood there absorbing the beauty, the majesty, and the intensity of this artwork that was done in a way that no one else would ever be able to recreate? What would you think if you suddenly realized that you were included in one of the greatest masterpieces of all time?

“For we are God’s masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so we can do the good things he planned for us long ago.” (Ephesians 2:10 NLT)

“Oh God, help us!”

I said these words recently with no plan or foresight, as the vehicle I was in spun out of control on the slick, snowy, country road we were on. Although we weren't traveling fast at all we were going off the road and down the embankment... and directly in front of us was a creek bed with several large old trees. It seemed certain that our skid would end in a rather dramatic stop against one of those trees since there didn't appear to be any other way for us to stop in time. But just before we careened down the side of the creek and into a tree trunk, our vehicle slowed and stopped. The whole experience took just seconds, even though it seemed to go on for a very long time. As I stepped out of the pickup, I saw that what had slowed us and stopped us eventually was a large log laying hidden in the ditch under the snow. A tire had caught the log, and been directed along it away from the creek... and a more violent stop was replaced by the gradual friction of tire against log. And so we sat with our vehicle just above the creek bed, safe and without any damage to us or the vehicle, but still firmly stuck!

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The other morning I was out on my morning walk just at sunrise. It was a beautiful clear, cold morning without a cloud in the sky. As I walked along the road, my breath fogged up my glasses so that they became opaque. I turned to head for home just as the sun was breaking the horizon, and my view turned distinctly rosy as the frosty lenses of my specs diffused the red ball of light. It was beautiful, even though I couldn't really see a thing! I took off my specs and carefully cleaned them off. Only after that was I able to stand and watch the sunrise clearly, noticing the details that were missing when I was enjoying the show through opaque glass.

There are so many times in my life when I cannot see clearly, and it isn't always because I am looking through rose tinted, opaque, spectacles. For example I know without a shadow of a doubt that God is who He has told us He is. But I find myself seeing and understanding God and what He is doing in my life sometimes as I initially saw that beautiful sunrise. It was clearly happening, it was obviously wonderful, but the definition was not there and the details could not be totally analyzed. I am okay with this personally, but the frustration could be there when I try to explain to others how almighty God is involved personally in my life.

It does make me feel a bit better that the apostle Paul himself shared some similar thoughts with his friends in Corinth many years ago: “For now we see through a glass, darkly; but then face to face: now I know in part; but then shall I know even as also I am known.” And as I look at these thoughts more closely I am intrigued that these words come at the end of a passage on the importance of love – which itself comes after a very important discussion on the role of the Spirit in our lives. Could it be that Paul was suggesting that we might not be able to see and understand God yet in the precise kind of detail that we would often want to, but that whatever else we know, we know that God is love; love is preeminent; love is not optional; and we have the Spirit in us to allow us to love the way God wants us to? I know that there are many other very important thoughts that we need to learn from this passage, but for me today I want to be at peace with these thoughts and accept the fact that I will not always be able to see – and to explain – all the details surrounding the glory of God's presence in my life.

Someday I'll be able to see clearly. Until then I will have to be satisfied that I can only explain God to others with my limited abilities... and through His love being lived out in my life.

And he said, "The kingdom of God is as if a man should scatter seed on the ground. He sleeps and rises night and day, and the seed sprouts and grows; he knows not how. The earth produces by itself, first the blade, then the ear, then the full grain in the ear. But when the grain is ripe, at once he puts in the sickle, because the harvest has come." (Mark 4:26-29 ESV)

We were recently talking with friends who had been missionaries for many years, but who had come back to the USA quite some time ago. They shared how they had had the opportunity recently to visit the place they had served, and where they had faced some significant struggles (even some opposition) in their ministry. It was so exciting to them to see that the seeds they had planted long ago had not been planted in vain, but the seeds had in fact grown, sprouted, and born much fruit. They shared how the church in this place was now very much where they had hoped and dreamed it would get to, and that there was now a lively and vibrant Christ life impacting the community.

In my morning reading today I came across the thought that we should work as if everything depends on God, and pray as if everything depends on us! If we could engage with our work, ministry or outreach with excitement and anticipation, knowing that it all depends on God and not on us, how would that impact our day to day life? And if we would pray as if everything of importance in our lives was dependent on our prayers, how much more seriously would we take those special times of communion with our Heavenly Father?

The game clock showed 00:00! The scoreboard showed that the Nebraska Cornhuskers had just won a 12-10 upset over the Texas Longhorns! The Big Red fans went wild. The officials called for a review. The wonders of modern technology proved that there was still 1 second left in the game. Time for one last play. Time for one more field goal. Time to change a loss into a win – or a win into a lose. When time had truly run out the scoreboard had changed to read 13 – 12 in favor of the team from Texas, and for the past few days in stores, coffee shops, churches and everywhere two Nebraskans happened to meet, one might overhear words like: what if we had... if we could only have... it looked like we mighta... we coulda... shoulda!

I realize that I am living in the heart of Big Red country now more than ever. At least I have 8 or 9 months to pick up the basics of college football before it gets serious again... and learn what teams are in the Big 12; what in the world is the BCS; who is Heisman and why does he give out a trophy every year...

I didn't watch the game, but when I read how the final moments unfolded I was intrigued by the life lessons that were so evident to all of us, even those of us who don't fully understand American football! And as I overheard snippets of conversation these past several days I have been reminded of the many times I too have been guilty of thinking and even saying things like “If only I had done this,” or “I shoulda done that,” or worse even “I coulda done this or that if only...”

The audit of our Singapore company has dragged on much longer than I ever had expected. I wasn't fully aware of all that was entailed, and so I had not kept some files accessible during this time of transition that I later found that I needed. Duplicate copies of some documents have taken time to obtain. The auditor has been slow to inform me of what they required, and so week by week the time has disappeared. By the end of this week we will hold our annual general meeting and the auditor has assured me that everything will be fine, that we are on track and that the requisite filings will happen in plenty of time. I cannot say how many times I have laid awake at night looking back over the past three or four months thinking those self defeating words... “woulda,” “shoulda,” “coulda.”

I was reading Psalm 35 this morning and at first it didn't really penetrate my head what was going on. But after I read it several times in different translations I finally was able to put my finger on it. The Psalmist was in a mess. Life had not been kind to him. It seems he was experiencing misfortune and even perhaps that he made some mistakes, and others were taking advantage of his situation. He had enemies who were really out to get him. But he doesn't look back and think of how life could have been if things had happened differently if he woulda - or coulda - done something differently. Rather he focuses on the Lord and on His salvation. He expresses in no uncertain terms his desire that the Lord would act in a way that would leave no doubt in the mind of his enemies and friends alike that it was God who was at work and deserved the glory.

We may not be in a position which requires us to call on God to vindicate us before our enemies. Certainly a lost football game wouldn't fall in that category no matter how deeply one feels the loss. But we always have a choice whether we will look to God and trust Him to work for His glory in our future, or whether we will stay focused on what coulda, woulda or shoulda happened in the past if life was “fair.” If we choose the later we will likely never say with the Psalmist: “Let those who delight in my righteousness shout for joy and be glad and say evermore, "Great is the LORD, who delights in the welfare of his servant!" Then my tongue shall tell of your righteousness and of your praise all the day long.”

I am left with the question. Can I fixate on my past mistakes & misfortunes and still give God the glory for my future?

For the third morning in a row we have awoken to the sound of silence. I strain my ears to hear something - anything - but our cozy little bedroom is silent. Not just quiet, but silent. A total lack of noise pollution. No fans, no air conditioners, no traffic, no neighbors... no neighbor's dogs!

Each morning I walk out into the pre-dawn darkness to marvel at the brilliant stars hanging low in a crystal clear sky. We have no yard lights, no porch lights, no street lights... At night when we go to bed the moon shines so brilliantly that one can see the yard almost as clear as day, but after the moon sets, the stars take over. There is no light pollution, nothing to interfere with the vast array of twinkling lights hung by the Creator in the night sky for His and our enjoyment! The Big Dipper is almost straight overhead, pointing out the North Star, halfway to the horizon. Stars which we seldom have seen over the past twenty years.

For the past several nights we have sat in our new little living room, enjoying the warmth of the fire in the furnace there. We have relaxed quietly or spent the time dreaming and planning for our next steps as we unpack and settle into our little house on the prairie! As of yet we have no Internet connection and no TV. In some ways we wish it could stay that way. There is something remarkably refreshing about being so isolated from the rest of the world. (I did turn on the radio this morning to hear the weather... probably the first time in years that we listened to a radio when we weren't driving! Besides the weather we also got the latest round up of grain prices and some farm news as well!)

One of the noises and smells from Singapore that we will not miss is the garbage truck coming around every morning to pick up the trash from our apartment building. But what does one do with one's garbage when one cannot just walk down to the end of the hall and drop it into the waste chute? Do you realize how much garbage we deal with on a regular basis? Probably we have more than usual right now as we purchase new things and unpack our old ones. In any case, one becomes much more aware of the trash in our lives at a time and place like this. Fortunately there are some options for recycling, and so we have started carefully separating out the paper from the plastics from the whatever...

It's kind of a funny thing about life isn't it... We long to get away from the pollution that others bring into our lives - not just noise or light pollution, but also the unending garbage of every day life in our world as we know it. But even if we can isolate ourselves from all the outside pollutants, we still have to deal with all the trash that we ourselves produce. Even if we can get away from the physical pollution of life in the 21st Century, ( I recall a village we visited in Cambodia that was so poor that it was almost spotlessly clean... they were too poor to even have any garbage), we will never get away from spiritual pollution because we carry it with us and produce it ourselves. The good thing is that when we have Christ in control of our lives, we not only have less trash to begin with, we can also trust Him to be faithful in getting rid of the trash we are willing to admit we do have.

Isn't it great that our Lord Jesus Christ is into recycling!

At this moment I am sitting at almost exactly the same spot where I was sitting when we received a phone call on my 25th birthday telling us we were being reassigned from Monte Carlo to Bonaire! Now as then I am sitting in the kitchen and looking out the window of the missionary home of Hope Bible Church in O'Fallon, Missouri. It seems like yesterday and a life time ago at the same time. We were here for almost two years at that time, waiting as the Lord took us through the deputation process. We have enjoyed staying here for other, shorter times during our home assignments through the past many years. Now as always we are so grateful to the Lord and our church family here at Hope Bible Church for this option.

My final days in Singapore are a fading memory. What will last are the memories of wonderful friends who helped out in so many ways - the final blitz to clear out our apartment and Thomas, our friend & broker, rolling up his sleeves to clean out the fridge and organize for the last few garbage bags of stuff to be disposed of - the drive to the airport with James & Alicia, touring downtown Singapore and enjoying the dazzling Christmas displays along Orchard Road on the way - being met by dozens of friends at the food court in Terminal 3, where we sat and chatted and had one final tasting of some of Singapore's fine cuisine! And finally our church family from Bethesda Christian Centre having a time of prayer with me just after midnight before we went our separate ways. We are truly grateful to the Lord for our Singapore friends and their generosity to us.

We have seen God using many friends and family over the past days to provide a vehicle; much needed tools and supplies; and many other helpful items which will make it easier for us to set up our home in Nebraska in days ahead. The great adventure is underway! We look forward to sharing Thanksgiving here in Missouri with family before heading to Nebraska on Friday of this week.

Being in this place again brings back so many memories and at the same time provides such a contrast. We wondered then if we would ever have enough support to get to "the field." It seemed that nothing we did made any difference. Those were hard days, but God proved Himself faithful... just as He has all through the years and is still doing today. Now we are much further down the road, and we have a very clear vision and passion for the ministry God is using us in. We know that there is such a need for younger missionaries and ministry leaders to have mentoring, coaching, training and pastoral care available to them, and we are so thankful to God for making a way possible for us to stay involved in this ministry. We know He will help us to be good stewards of the gifts, experiences and resources that He has given us.