Win or Lose?

The game clock showed 00:00! The scoreboard showed that the Nebraska Cornhuskers had just won a 12-10 upset over the Texas Longhorns! The Big Red fans went wild. The officials called for a review. The wonders of modern technology proved that there was still 1 second left in the game. Time for one last play. Time for one more field goal. Time to change a loss into a win – or a win into a lose. When time had truly run out the scoreboard had changed to read 13 – 12 in favor of the team from Texas, and for the past few days in stores, coffee shops, churches and everywhere two Nebraskans happened to meet, one might overhear words like: what if we had... if we could only have... it looked like we mighta... we coulda... shoulda!

I realize that I am living in the heart of Big Red country now more than ever. At least I have 8 or 9 months to pick up the basics of college football before it gets serious again... and learn what teams are in the Big 12; what in the world is the BCS; who is Heisman and why does he give out a trophy every year...

I didn't watch the game, but when I read how the final moments unfolded I was intrigued by the life lessons that were so evident to all of us, even those of us who don't fully understand American football! And as I overheard snippets of conversation these past several days I have been reminded of the many times I too have been guilty of thinking and even saying things like “If only I had done this,” or “I shoulda done that,” or worse even “I coulda done this or that if only...”

The audit of our Singapore company has dragged on much longer than I ever had expected. I wasn't fully aware of all that was entailed, and so I had not kept some files accessible during this time of transition that I later found that I needed. Duplicate copies of some documents have taken time to obtain. The auditor has been slow to inform me of what they required, and so week by week the time has disappeared. By the end of this week we will hold our annual general meeting and the auditor has assured me that everything will be fine, that we are on track and that the requisite filings will happen in plenty of time. I cannot say how many times I have laid awake at night looking back over the past three or four months thinking those self defeating words... “woulda,” “shoulda,” “coulda.”

I was reading Psalm 35 this morning and at first it didn't really penetrate my head what was going on. But after I read it several times in different translations I finally was able to put my finger on it. The Psalmist was in a mess. Life had not been kind to him. It seems he was experiencing misfortune and even perhaps that he made some mistakes, and others were taking advantage of his situation. He had enemies who were really out to get him. But he doesn't look back and think of how life could have been if things had happened differently if he woulda - or coulda - done something differently. Rather he focuses on the Lord and on His salvation. He expresses in no uncertain terms his desire that the Lord would act in a way that would leave no doubt in the mind of his enemies and friends alike that it was God who was at work and deserved the glory.

We may not be in a position which requires us to call on God to vindicate us before our enemies. Certainly a lost football game wouldn't fall in that category no matter how deeply one feels the loss. But we always have a choice whether we will look to God and trust Him to work for His glory in our future, or whether we will stay focused on what coulda, woulda or shoulda happened in the past if life was “fair.” If we choose the later we will likely never say with the Psalmist: “Let those who delight in my righteousness shout for joy and be glad and say evermore, "Great is the LORD, who delights in the welfare of his servant!" Then my tongue shall tell of your righteousness and of your praise all the day long.”

I am left with the question. Can I fixate on my past mistakes & misfortunes and still give God the glory for my future?